NOT a shoe person

One of my favorite romantic movies of all time is Romancing the Stone, a movie made in 1984 starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. What do I love about this movie? It's about a romance novelist (Kathleen Turner) who stumbles into a real life adventure with a handsome man (Micheal Douglas before that disturbing Sharon Stone movie). Happy ending with the boat, some really hilarious scenes thanks to Danny Devito, so my kind of movie.

Well, there is this one scene in which Kathleen and Michael are about to trek through the South American Jungle, and they're drenched to the skin. Michael asks Kathleen if the shoes she's wearing are the only ones she has. She replies all the shoes she has are like the ones she's wearing. He takes the shoes and cuts the heels off with his machete. In resignation, she says, "Those were Italian." And he replies, "Now they're practical."

I thought about that exchange when I was with my good friend Stewart in the trendy downtown district of a neighboring town for lunch. And I spotted this:

Well, it was intriguing, but as I told Stewart, "I'm not a shoe person."


They had a sale table on the sidewalk.

And I am a sale kind of person, as long as it doesn't take too long, because I am also not a shopping kind of person.

And then I saw them.

I had seen a similar pair in a shoe catalog (on the outside of the catalog which came to the house for some odd reason. I wasn't interested enough to open it because, as I told you, I am not a shoe person) for over two hundred dollars.

Two hundred dollars. I don't pay two hundred dollars for shoes. If I do, believe me, they're going to be able to do my walking for me, and maybe clean the house, too. So, these caught my eye. And then I saw the price-$20! Can you believe it?

I left them. But they called to me which was weird because they're shoes, and have I told you I'm not really into shoes? Not at all.

But, I mean, look at them!!! And only for $20!

I did walk away. I ate lunch. I walked around the block in my comfortable flats. How insane! Where would I wear shoes like that? Well, there is the next book signing coming up in July.

And I've been taking note of shoe etiquette from the secretary where I work. I will call her Linda. She wears really high heels, but she takes them off sometimes. I think this is so she doesn't have chronic back pain or so her feet won't resign at the continued abuse. So, I could buy the shoes, wear them long enough to be seen in them, to wow the people, but not long enough to kill myself by a) having serious leg and back spasms and b) falling on my face because I've tried to walk on my toes basically. I think the heels are three inches!!

But, did you see them??!!

Here's another picture in case you didn't.

And I already checked. The heels can't be shorted by the Michael Douglas method. That kind of cobbling only happens in the movies.

Okay. I'm $20 poorer, but one pair of shoes richer. Now then this all begs the question. What kind of outfit would one wear with that pair of pumps?