Listen to the Lady in the Hat!

I just arrived home from the Dogwood Conference. As promised, I do have some interesting tidbits to share. Tonight I would like to introduce you to Raelene Gorlinsky from Ellora's Cave, a publisher of erotic romance. Raelene is a classy lady. She came into the conference room this morning wearing a pretty blouse with a matching periwinkle hat. How lovely! Such refinement! The woman actually said the P word with such poise that I couldn't help but laugh.
Here are some of my notes from her workshop on genre. Interestingly enough, the quotes are mostly about sex.
In her discussion of euphemisms, she said, "Bloated and enflamed makes one think of dead bodies." You can imagine what parts she was discussing. Or how about this one? "His 'Soldier of love' is not a good term unless you are writing purple prose in historic fiction." Avoid using war terms for male body parts.
But this was may favorite: The definition of romance has expanded. It does not necessarily mean a couple anymore-only one man and one woman. Menage is acceptable now. And one of those people may even be a vampire. No animals, or course, but shape-shifters are okay.

I could have howled. This dear lady in her periwinkle hat is informing us in her sophisticated manner that menage a trois is romantic.
Throw a vampire in the mix.
Still a love story.
How thrilling.
But we absolutely draw the line at bestiality, darling!
What do you think we are?

I confessed to her that I often get embarrassed when I'm working on a love scene and it's just me and the computer and no P words any where in the mix! Over our appetizing lunch of baked chicken, corn, and peas mixed with carrots, she rattled off a few...err...shall I say...part names as if she were saying "Pass the salt, would you dear?" I admired her hat once again. Was it the hat which gave her the oomph as to be able to discuss private parts without embarrassment?
So, I guess I'm not ready to submit any manuscripts to Ellora's Cave yet.
Three just isn't my number.
And I'm not into vampires or shape shifters.
However, I'm thinking about finding me a periwinkle hat.