Do they make a patch for this?

I have suspected it for a while now, but when certain recent events happened, I could not deny it anymore.
Hello, my name is Jennifer and I have an addiction to the internet. I have been happily feeding this addiction probably since January when I stepped up my presence here because of the book deal. (Hey, that sounds cool. "The book deal.") Anyhow, I realized the first thing I did when I woke up in the morning was take my drag of cyber air. I checked my emails (Yes, I have more than one account-gasp). I visited My Space. I looked at my blog.
What a happy life it was. I would get my fix and go about my day until the next time the urge hit. I'd check email, visit My Space, look at my blog. Check email again. Do something else. Oh, how carefree life was ...yesterday.
And then we tried to install wireless in the house.
Big Mistake.
No wireless. Now, no wire either apparently.
I knew I had a problem when I woke up this morning and thought, "I have to go to work today so I can check my email." Monday mornings are usually not like that. Monday mornings are usually, "Hmm. Do I REALLY need to go to work today? I mean, I have some comp days coming to me so maybe I should take one of those." Oh, I make it in most days at a quarter after.
Today I was at work at nine minutes after!! Did you read that?! Only nine minutes late!! In fact, if it hadn't been for an unforeseen difficulty, I actually would have been here fifteen minutes early!! On Monday no less!
And when I get back home, what will I do? If I can't check email or do any surfing, I might actually have to do something drastic like vaccuum.
I guess I should be thankful. There's that next book waiting. I need to get those people out of that burning building somehow. I'm wondering if you could get in an industrial sized oven, close the door, and be safe from the fire. Or if you would suffocate before the fire was put out. Where could a savvy hero go when he's trapped in a burning building anyway? I'm open to any ideas. I might as well do some writing since I can't waste time on the net at home.
And I really should get to work since I'm at work. Oh, wait. I was supposed to leave an hour ago.