Here is a picture I took as I stood next to my front porch. This is Donna's house. She's my neighbor across the street. That white stuff on the ground for any of you in the deep south is called "snow." I didn't see a lot of it growing up below the gnat line in Alabama. In fact, most of the white stuff I did see on the ground was called "cotton." No lie. My ex-sister-in-law once told me about driving in Alabama and seeing white stuff on the ground. Being from Colorado, she thought it was snow. Maybe she was puzzled as to why there WAS snow on the ground in August. I have thought about that story quite a bit whenever I have seen cotton in the fields or snow on the ground. Rarely do those two events happen in the same geographical location; never in the same chronological location.
Yesterday I was in Lexington, Kentucky watching with some trepidation (and, okay excitement) as flakes fell from the sky. By the time I got back home it was STILL snowing and the roads were getting slick and dangerous. On those rare occasions when it did snow in Alabama when I was growing up, I knew it meant there was going to be NO SCHOOL THAT DAY!!! We didn't have to have much snow for it to be a snow day, just a smattering. This is because people in the south don't know how to drive on the white stuff so they panic. They go to the store. They buy lots of bread and milk. They crash into each other at intersections. It is all very exciting.
What is this compulsion to buy milk and bread at the store in times of in climate weather? Are these truly the staples of our time? I mean, bread I understand because sandwiches are definitely something you could eat if the electricity is out and you were stuck in your house in a foot of snow or in a flu pandemic or...oh, I don't know... Godzilla has stepped on all the Krogers. But milk? It's okay to drink, but I could do without it easily. Ever since Kraft made Easy Mac milk has become less important. Here are some of the things I consider staples (that is, food I consider a necessity in cases of Godzilla or snow). Let me start off by saying water is a given. I'd have lots of water on hand for all kinds of uses so I'm not putting it on the list.
In no order of importance I would have:
1. Easy Mac
3. Peanut butter
4. Ritz crackers
5. Early June Peas in a can and a can opener
6. Almond Joys
7. Tea or Kool Aid
9. Mandarin oranges
11. Honey (for the peanut butter sandwiches)
12. Liquor (my husband's suggestion. He may have been kidding. MAY HAVE BEEN).
13. Makings for Smores. I'm counting on the gas logs working in my little snowed-in scenario so I include in number 13 skewers.
Now, if we had electricity so that the refrigerator was an option, I would also have:
1. Sandwich meat
2. Fresh fruit
4. Ranch Dressing
6. Ice Cream
OKAY! So sue me. I have this thing about junk food. I LOVE MUNCHIES.
One time when my brother was living in Tennessee my parents and I got snowed in while visiting him. This is when I first experienced having...er..how can I put this? I experienced secretions freezing while in the nasal cavity. The most entertaining time we had was standing on the hill watching cars slide down the hill because the drivers of those cars felt some innate need to go buy milk and bread at the store located at the bottom of the hill. We were smart. We walked.
Since living in Kentucky for two years, I have seen more snow than I have ever seen the previous 36 years of my life. Since living in Kentucky I have also learned I don't need to be driving in icy conditions. I am not confident driving in the snow so why risk it? Whenever I see the flakes begin to fall and I have that overpowering urge to go buy milk and bread, I just send my husband. He knows the difference between cotton and snow.
This week some authors and I are participating in a community blog called authorsandbooks.blogspot.com/
Every day one or two authors will post a blog (probably about a book) and if you comment, you have a chance of winning whatever prize they are giving away. Most of the prizes are downloads of books. But FREE!! Such a lovely word and all you have to do is post a comment. Does it get any easier than that? Well, I guess we could drive to your house, knock on your door, and hand a book to you. But you'd have to get off your duff to answer the door. This way you can stay seated and we don't have to get on your icy snowy road on our way to get milk and bread. I think I'll be posting Wednesday, but jump on over every day this week and meet my colleagues and maybe get you a free download.