I am so excited about my new calling. You are reading the words of the newest person to bring joy and excitement to the lucky children of the local elementary school because I am (cue the super hero music here) Popcorn Woman!
What an awesome responsibility! I get to go to school tomorrow and spent two glorious hours working the popcorn machine and fulfilling the happy dreams of the children in K through 6th grade for only fifty cents a bag. What a small cost to pay for happiness.
I want to thank all of the people who made this event possible. Mr. Fleming first of all because he looked at the roster of volunteers and he saw in my name the ability of someone who could pour kernels in a metal container, who could put the oil in somewhere (don't really know the logistics of it all, will get back to you after I learn), plug the cord into the outlet, and look all happy while the popping is taking place. In addition, Mr. Fleming knew I could take an appropriately sized scoop and pour the popcorn into bags provided for that purpose. Lastly, this man who had vision knew that I would be able to read the list for how many bags of popcorn to provide and that I would be able to count high enough to deliver the bags accurately and with efficiency.
I also want to thank the PTO for giving me a form to fill out so that I could have a criminal background check. I could then go into the school without danger to the students. Except for a few speeding tickets, my record was clean enough to be able to fulfill my role as Popcorn Woman. What an honor and what a responsibility. I will do my best to carry out my duties so that every kid who brought their two quarters will get a bag of professionally popped popcorn.
The next bit of fun was picking a song to go along with my foolishness. Of course, it had to be "The Popcorn Song" which I remember from my youth. Have there been a lot of versions of this song or what? Each one as annoying as the rest. I listened in fascination like someone watching a bad movie. You don't enjoy it, but somehow you just can't quit watching. The ultimate was the Boston Pops version. God bless the Boston Pops for trying to cultrify (my word) us by turning classless songs and pieces of music into nearly beautiful and always catchy orchestral creations. The first Popcorn version is theirs. The second one is a hoot. It's what I imagine on "Gunsmoke" if the old Western had a popcorn song, that is. The last version is the one I remember from my early teen years. At church camp, we danced to this song and called the dance an "energizer." Somehow, it was more fun than dancing to "Just as I am." The tune was faster and more appealing to our teenage souls.
I don't expect you to listen to all of any one of them. Goodness knows it would be an exercise in tolerance, but you might just want to move your mouse over to the play list and listen to a little bit of each one. I'm signing off now, as I have to go prepare for my Popcorn job. Wonder if I could work up some kind of Super Hero outfit before tomorrow?